Wednesday, March 31, 2004
Monday, March 29, 2004
Saturday, March 27, 2004
Friday, March 26, 2004
2 hours, 54 minutes ago
VATICAN CITY (Reuters) - Pope John Paul (news - web sites) says Sunday should be a day for God, not for secular diversions like entertainment and sports.
'When Sunday loses its fundamental meaning and becomes subordinate to a secular concept of 'weekend' dominated by such things as entertainment and sport, people stay locked within a horizon so narrow that they can no longer see the heavens,' the pontiff said in a speech to Australian bishops.
John Paul criticised the 'culture of the 'here and now'', urging Church leaders to 'lead men and women from the shadows of moral confusion and ambiguous thinking'.
The 83-year-old pope also encouraged Christians, especially young people, to remain faithful to Sunday Mass, saying the secular culture was undermining family life. "
* I delete everything that references my bank account. (especially from Africa!)
* I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains.
* I stopped using Equal and using things containing Aspartame for fear of all sorts of ailments.
* I send along all the appropriate emails so that Jesus will continue to love me.
* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.
* I smell like a dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer.
* I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me.
* I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo.
* I stopped consuming several foods for fear that the estrogens they contain may turn me gay.
* I also stopped eating chicken and hamburgers because they are nothing other than horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers that are bred in a lab so that places like McDonalds can sell their Big Macs.
* I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick from the rat feces and urine.
* I think I'm turning gay because when I go to parties, I don't look at any girl, no matter how hot she is, for fear that she will take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.
* I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times. Funny that girl, she's been 7 since 1993...
* I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I wrote expecting the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated in their Special e-mail program.
* My Recision phone never arrived and neither did the passes for a paid Vacation to Disneyland.
* But I am positive that all this is the cause of a stinking chain that I broke or forgot to follow...
IMPORTANT NOTE: If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 10 seconds, a bird will poop on you today at 7pm! :)
Thursday, March 25, 2004
Bills Report Staff - BillsReport.com
March 25, 2004 at 2:41pm ET
The second day of mini camp under new head coach Mike Mularkey brang more speculation then the first. As the Bills entertained a free agent offensive lineman and a web site reports that the Bills are looking to trade for a wide receiver.
We reported earlier in the week that the Bills had planned to bring in Eagles' free agent guard Bobbie Williams for a workout yesterday. Well that didn't happen, instead he did it today and made no secret that he'd love to join the Bills.
As he commented how he's just coming into his own and would love the chance to work with a coach like Jim McNally who is widley regarded as one of the best offensive line coaches in the game today.
Though the biggest thing to shake camp today is reports out of New Jersey that the Bills could be trying to acquire wide out James Thrash .
As reported at NJ.com the Bills would part with a conditional draft pick in 2005 for Thrash. Thrash is rumored to be on his way outs of Philadelphia. As he was packaged with the Eagles 5th round pick in their intial trade offer to acquire Terrell Owens from the 49ers. If acquired Thrash would give the Bills a veteran prescense with good speed and the ability to return kicks and would likely compete with Bobby Shaw for the team's 2nd/3rd WR spot on the depth chart.
Updated on Thursday, Mar 25, 2004 2:41 pm EST"
Wednesday, March 24, 2004
By MARCIA DUNN, AP Aerospace Writer
CAPE CANAVERAL, Fla. - Five planets are arrayed across the evening sky in a spectacular night show that won't be back for another three decades.
For the next two weeks, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn — the five closest planets — should be easily visible at dusk, along with the moon.
"It's semi-unique," said Myles Standish, an astronomer at Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, Calif. "They're all on the same side of the sun and stretched across the sky and that's what is kind of pretty."
Standish missed Monday evening's opportunity, but said Tuesday that he will gaze up when he walks his dog this week and next. He expects mountains and bright city lights to hamper his view, however.
The planetary lineup will be visible to the naked eye every night for an hour after sunset through early April. At the end of the year, the same five planets will reunite for a few weeks, but in the pre-dawn hours.
Standish said this particular planetary grouping may offer the best nighttime views until 2036.
The orbits of the five planets take them to the same side of the sun every few years or so. The conditions have to be just right for all five planets to be clearly visible at dusk or dawn; Mercury is often tough to catch. Even rarer are so-called alignments, where the planets are clustered together in the sky; this is not one of those.
Stargazers should look to the western horizon just after sunset. Mercury, Venus, Mars and Saturn will be lined up in the sky with Jupiter close to the eastern horizon. They will span about 135 degrees. Saturn will be almost directly overhead.
On the Net:
NASA (news - web sites): www.nasa.gov
A Marine was deployed to Afghanistan. While he was there he received a letter from his girlfriend. In the letter she explained that she had slept with two guys while he had been gone and she wanted to break up with him.
AND, she wanted pictures of herself back.
So, the Marine did what any squared-away Marine would do! He went around to all his buddies and collected all the unwanted photos of women he could find.
He mailed about 25 pictures of naked women to his girlfriend
with the following note:
"I don't remember which one you are. Please remove your picture and send the rest back!!!!"
I've seen this a couple of times in the past and I love it every single time....
Thursday, March 18, 2004
Friday, March 12, 2004
The following is a pre-approved posting whose purpose is to offer insight
and advice to Northerners moving South.
1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed on how to use
2. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean Southerners
can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows.
3. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab
of a four-wheel pick-up with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be
along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is
what they live for.
4. You can ask Southerners for directions, but unless you already know the
positions of key hills, trees and rocks, you're better off trying not find
5. Remember: Y'all is singular. All y'all is plural. All y'all's is plural
6. Get used to hearing, You ain't from around here, are you?
7. Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't
understand you either!
8. The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner's
vocabulary is the adjective;big ol, as in; big ol truck,; or; big ol boy.
(which in the last few years, has become big ass....truck, big ass tires,
big ass woman)
9. As you are cursing the person driving 15 mph in a 55-mph zone, directly
in the middle of the road, remember: ALL Southern folks learned to drive on
a John Deere, and this is the proper speed and lane position for that
10. If you hear a Southerner exclaim, Hey, y'all, watch this! Stay out
of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say, or worse
still, that you will ever hear.
11. Most Southerners do not use turn signals; they ignore those who do.
In fact, if you see a signal blinking on a car with a Southern license
plate, you may rest assured that it was already turned on when the car was
12. If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let
13. The wardrobe you always brought out in September can wait until
14. If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the most
minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local
grocery store. It does not matter if you need anything from the store. It
is just something you're supposed to do.
15. Satellite dishes are very popular in the South. When you purchase
one, it is positioned directly in front of the house. This is logical,
bearing in mind that the dish cost considerably more than the house, and
should, therefore, be prominently displayed.
16. Be advised that in the South, He needed killin'!, is a valid
Sunday, March 07, 2004
What the Return of the Nephilim is all about? Well, the following is its main proposition - although not the only one.
The Return of the Nephilim is a sure event yet to occur in the Last Days. This suggestion is according to an End Times prophecy in the Bible delivered by our Lord Jesus Christ Himself in the Olivet Discourse as recorded in Luke 17:26 and Matthew 24:37. In the near future, just as they did in the antediluvian world - previous to the universal Flood of Noah (Genesis 6:1-2,4) — satanic "alien" beings, or fallen angels, will appear on our planet and will make widespread and direct contact with mankind. It will be just previous — or during — the future Reign of the Antichrist and his deceptive False Prophet.
These rebellious interdimensional beings from the heavenlies will manifest among us disguised as extraterrestrial from other galaxies or aliens beings from another dimension or time. They will pretend to teach mankind high elements of science and technology as well as the means to successfully achieve a peaceful social cooperation among the nations of the world putting an end to wars, hunger, plagues, etc. To attain that intent. they will tell us that it is absolutely necessary to unite all the nations of the world under a new One World Government or New World Order, the ultimate Tower of Babel.
Friday, March 05, 2004
John Smith was the only Protestant to move into a large Catholic neighborhood.
On the first Friday of Lent, John was outside grilling a big juicy steak on his grill.
Meanwhile, all of his neighbors were eating cold tuna fish for supper.
This went on each Friday of Lent.
On the last Friday of Lent, the neighborhood men got together and decided that something had to be done about John, he was tempting them to eat meat each Friday of Lent, and they couldn't take it anymore.
They decided to try and convert John to be a Catholic.
They went over and talked to him and were so happy that he decided to join all of his neighbors and become a Catholic.
They took him to Church, and the Priest sprinkled some water over him, and said, "You were born a Baptist, you were raised a Baptist, and now you are a Catholic."
The men were so relieved, now their biggest Lenten temptation was resolved.
The next year's Lenten season rolled around.
The first Friday of Lent came, and just at supper time, when the neighborhood was setting down to their tuna fish dinner, came the wafting smell of steak cooking on a grill. The neighborhood men could not believe their noses!
WHAT WAS GOING ON?
They called each other up and decided to meet over in John's yard to see if he had forgotten it was the first Friday of Lent.
The group arrived just in time to see John standing over his grill with a small pitcher of water.
He was sprinkling some water over his steak on the grill, saying, "You were born a cow, you were raised a cow, and now you are a fish."
Thursday, March 04, 2004
WINTER HAVEN, Fla. - A dispute at the salad bar turned into a food fracas at an upscale retirement home, with a man taking a bite out of another's arm and other residents suffering minor injuries.
Police said resident Lee Thoss, 62, of the Spring Haven Retirement Community was picking through the lettuce, which disgusted 86-year-old William Hocker, who was standing in line behind him.
Hocker told Thoss no one wanted to eat food he had been playing with. Thoss yelled and cursed at him, Hocker told police, and Hocker called him a nasty name. Then, witnesses said, Thoss then began punching Hocker in the face.
In the buffet melee that followed, Allen Croft, 79, tried to grab Thoss, who bit him on the arm, reports said.
Thoss' mother, Arlene, in her 80s and also a Spring Haven resident, jumped in to break up the fight and ended up with a cut arm. Harry Griffin, 92, was standing at the salad bar and cut his head when he was knocked to the ground.
"All the old folks were either getting up to help or trying to get out of there," police spokesman J.J. Stanton said of the scene last Sunday in the well-appointed dining room, which features an ice cream bar and a pastry chef.
Arlene Thoss, Croft and Griffin were treated at a local hospital and released.
Stanton said all involved declined to press charges, but home administrators have asked Lee Thoss to move out.
Tuesday, March 02, 2004
Adapted from a letter sent to Henry Makow Ph.D.
Want to share an event with you, that we experienced this evening.. Dave had over $1000 dollars in his back pocket (in his wallet). New twenties were the lion share of the bills in his wallet. We walked into a truck stop/travel plaza and they have those new electronic monitors that are supposed to say if you are stealing something. But through every monitor, Dave set it off. He did not have anything to purchase in his hands or pockets. After numerous times of setting off these monitors, a person approached Dave with a 'wand' to swipe why he was setting off the monitors.
Believe it or not, it was his 'wallet'. That is according to the minimum wage employees working at the truck stop! We then walked across the street to a store and purchased aluminum foil. We then wrapped our cash in foil and went thru the same monitors. No monitor went off.
We could have left it at that, but we have also paid attention to the European Union and the 'rfid' tracking devices placed in their money, and the blatant bragging of Walmart and many corporations of using 'rfid' electronics on every market"
Monday, March 01, 2004
The surgeon asked, "Would you like some time alone with your son? One of the nurses will be out in a few minutes, before he's transported to the University."
Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she said goodbye to her son. She ran her fingers lovingly through his thick red curly hair.
"Would you like a lock of his hair?" the nurse asked. Sally nodded yes.
The nurse cut a lock of the boy's hair, put it in a plastic bag and handed it to Sally.
The mother said, "It was Jimmy's idea to donate his body to the University for Study. He said it might help somebody else. "I said no at first, but Jimmy said, "Mom, I won't be using it after I die. Maybe it will help some other little boy spend one more day with his Mom." She went on, "My Jimmy had a heart of gold.. Always thinking of someone else. Always wanting to help others if he could."
Sally walked out of Children's mercy Hospital for the last time, after spending most of the last six months there. She put the bag with Jimmy's red hair and other belongings on the seat beside her in the car. The drive home was difficult.
It was even harder to enter the empty house.
She carried Jimmy's belongings, and the plastic bag with the lock of his hair to her son's room. She started placing the model cars and other personal things, back in his room exactly where he had always kept them. She laid down across his bed and, hugging his pillow, and cried herself to sleep.
It was around midnight when Sally awoke. Lying beside her on the bed was a folded letter.. The letter said:
I know you're going to miss me; but don't think that I will ever forget you,
or stop loving you, just 'cause I'm not around to say I LOVE YOU. I will
always love you, Mom, even more with each day. Someday we will see each
other again. Until then, if you want to adopt a little boy so you won't be
so lonely, that's okay with me. He can have my room, and old stuff to play
with.. But, if you decide to get a girl instead, she probably wouldn't like
the same things us boys do. You'll have to buy her dolls and stuff girls
Don't be sad thinking about me. This really is a neat place. Grandma and
Grandpa met me as soon as I got here and showed me around some, but it will
take a long time to see everything. The angels are so cool. I love to watch
them fly. And, you know what? Jesus doesn't look like any of his pictures.
Yet, when I saw Him, I knew it was Him.
Jesus himself took me to see GOD! And guess what, Mom? I got to sit on God's
knee and talk to Him, like I was somebody important. That's when I told Him
that I wanted to write you a letter, to tell you goodbye and everything. But
I already knew that wasn't allowed. Well, y'know what Mom? God handed me
some paper and His own personal pen to write you this letter. I think
Gabriel is the name of the angel who is going to drop this letter off to
you. God said for me to give you the answer to one of the questions you
asked Him -
'Where was He when I needed him?'
God said, He was in the same place with me, as when His son Jesus was on the
cross. He was right there, as He always is with all His children.
Oh, by the way, Mom, no one else can see what I've written except you. To
everyone else this is just a blank piece of paper. Isn't that cool? I have
to give God His pen back now. He needs it to write some more names in the
Book of Life.
Tonight I get to sit at the table with Jesus for supper. I'm sure the food
will be great. Oh, I almost forgot to tell you, I don't hurt anymore. The
cancer is all gone. I'm glad because I couldn't stand that pain anymore...
and God couldn't stand to see me hurt so much, either.
That's when He sent The Angel of Mercy to come get me. The Angel said I was
Special Delivery! How about that?
Signed with Love from:
God, Jesus & Me.
Let's see Satan stop this one. Take 60-seconds and send this to five other
people, within the hour, you will have caused a multitude of believers to
pray to God for each other. Then sit back and feel the Holy Spirit work in
your life for doing what you know God loves.