Thursday, May 13, 2004

Ole, Lena and yes, even Sven jokes.. (thanks Shelley)

Ole, Lena, and Sven were lost in the woods of Northern Minnesota and were becoming desperate having run out of food several days ago. It was winter, the snow was deep, their situation was looking very bleak. When Ole dug down into the snow to look for nuts, he found an old lamp and upon rubbing it to get the snow off, a genie came out. The genie says, "I am da great genie of Nordern Minnesooota and I can grant each of you vun vish."

Ole says, "I vish I vas back on da farm. "Poof, Ole was gone.

Lena quickly says, "I vish I vas back on da farm wit Ole." Poof, Lena was gone.

Sven was sitting there looking sad and the genie finally says, "Sven, Vat is your vish?" and Sven says, "Gee, I'm really lonely. I vish Ole and Lena were back here with me".

Sven was going for his morning walk one day when he walked past Ole's house and saw a sign that said "Boat For Sale." This confused Sven because he knew that Ole didn't own a boat, so he finally decided to go in and ask Ole about it.

"Hey Ole," said Sven, "I noticed da sign in your yard dat says 'Boat For Sale,' but ya don't even have a boat All ya have is your ol John Deere tractor and combine."

Ole replied "Yup, and they're boat for sale."

Sven got a new pick-up truck, ya know. So he called up Ole and says "Ole, I got me a new truck! Do ya vant to go ice fishin' vit me?" "Sure!" says Ole. So Ole went with Sven (Lena came along too cuz' she wasn't doin' nuttin anyway). So Ole and Lena sat in the front of the truck and Sven sat in the back. Then they were on the ice when all of a sudden the truck went right through the ice!

So even though Ole and Lena are pretty big people they managed to get out of the truck, and they were waiting for Sven at the top when he finally popped up through the hole. Ole says, "Sven, vat took you so long!"

"Vell", says Sven, "It took me a while to figure out how to open da tail gate."

Lena passed away and Ole called 911. The 911 operator told Ole that she would send someone out right away. "Where do you live?" asked the operator. Ole replied, "At da end of Eucalyptus Drive."

The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?" There was a long pause and finally Ole said, "How 'bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up der?"

Ole and Lena were laying in bed one night when the phone rang, Ole answered it and Lena heard him yell, "Vell, how da hell should I know! Dat's over 2,000 miles away," and he hung up.

Lena say's "who was dat, Ole?"

Ole say's, "Hell if I know, some weirdo wants ta know if da coast is clear."

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