Things to Ponder
When I die, I want to die like my grandmother, who died peacefully in
her sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in her car. -Author
A young man was sitting in class when the professor asked him if he
knew what the Roe vs. Wade decision was. He sat quietly, pondering this
very profound question. Finally, after giving it a lot of thought, he
sighed and said, "I think this was the decision George Washington made
prior to crossing the Delaware "
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a
day ... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be
because a woman has to say everything twice. The husband then turned to
his wife and asked, "What?"
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid
and so beautiful all at the same time." The wife responded, "Allow me to
explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made
me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
Some Great Truths About Life: 1) Raising teenagers
is like nailing Jell-O to a tree. 2) Wrinkles don't hurt. 3) Families
are like fudge . . . mostly sweet, with a few nuts. 4) Today's mighty oak
is just yesterday's nut that held it's ground. 5) Laughing is good
exercise. It's like jogging on the inside. 6) Middle age is when you
choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It
cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art." "Really,"
answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?" "Twelve thirty."
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a
word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them
wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules,
goats, and pigs, the wife asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the husband replied, "in-laws."